Silent words to Amma

Just once I want to rest my head on your lap,

And feel your fingers combing through my hair,

Whispering everything is going to be fine,

I wonder how you feel the pain I desperately try to hide.

Is it your gut feeling or sixth sense,

That picks up every smile or twitch in my eye,

Never did you praise me sky high,

Nor did you scorn as I left everything to chance.

I often wonder if you were proud of me or disappointed in me,

Till I had my own little girl whose faults never seemed so big to me,

My heart swelling with pride and not telling her she was the best,

I nudged her to do better without bearing down her throat.

Following your foot steps, I want to bring up my little girl.

Resting her head on my lap,

I comb my fingers through her hair,

Whispering everything is going to be fine.

I feel the pain she desperately tries to hide,

With the brush of my lips on her forehead,

I want to make the whole world a better place for her to be.