Diwali – the festival of light

Indians all over the world welcome the festival of lights early each Fall. Deepavali, also known as Diwali is the biggest festival day and celebrations are planned with much joy and happiness. The festivities include wearing new clothes, lighting diyas, feasting and fun. Spiritually Diwali symbolizes the victory of light over darkness, good over evil and knowledge over ignorance.

Today as I was making the bakshanams (the sweets and the savouries), it triggered off nostalgia for all things associated with Deepavali in Pushpanjali, the house I grew up in.  I walk back into the Diwali of my youth, surrounded by family as I see so clearly in my mind's eye the festivities. As kids, while we were more interested in the new clothes and the pattaas (firecrackers), Amma had to make sure everything was kept ready for the constant stream of visitors that day. All the preparations started days ahead.

Amma would meticulously pick new clothes for each one of us and get them sewn by Mary tailor. That itself was a daunting task, as all his customers wanted their clothes stitched by Diwali. As the tailor worked overtime, we had to swing by his small workshop numerous times, and finally when we collected our clothes,  we were thrilled to see them fit perfectly. Now the clothes are ready to be kept in front of God in the Swami room to be worn for Diwali.

A week before, the bakshanam preparation would start. 2 mamis would come home to help amma make dabbas and dabbas of murukku, thatai, thengozhal, pakkodaam, muthuswaram, mixture, etc. Followed by sweets like Appa’s favourite badam halwa, Amma’s signature 2-layer milk and chocolate barfi, rava mittai and coconut barfi. By the end of the day, we had a storeroom filled with large dabbas of goodies.

 

Also, a week before, the firecrackers, the much anticipated part of Diwali, would be bought and stored in a large suitcase. 3 days before Deepavali, Kala, Usha, Uma and I would first divide the pattaas equally among us and then barter for the ones we liked better. Kala didn’t like the ones that made noise like the atom bomb or electric. We would trade with her giving our noiseless, colourful wire which she was so fond of. There was such a childish innocence and excitement in getting prepared for the day as we listed out the sequence we’d burst the crackers.  First light, then flowerpot, then changu chakram, vishnu chakram, atom bomb, lakshmi vedi, kuruvi vedi, electric, rocket and so on. This was the beginning of the most exciting 2 day festival. And we waited eagerly for the day of Diwali.

The night before Diwali, after dinner, we took out our own boxes of firecrackers with enthusiasm and started off bursting a part of the firecrackers which were set aside for this evening. It was like a preliminary to what was to come on the big day. We tried to persuade Thayi, our help and Sundari, her daughter, to come home as early as they could the next morning to come to give us the oil bath. As we negotiated the time, we even suggested they could just sleep over at our place. Amma cleaned up the swami area, and arranged all our new clothes, the davara (the small stainless steel utensil) with the nalennai (oil), and the lamps in front of the mandapam. Although Appa kept telling us to go to sleep so that we can get up early the next day, we just couldn’t sleep with all the excitement and the joy brimming in our hearts and the occasional sound of the pattaas from neighbouring houses and the swishing sound of rockets that went on late through the night.

And finally, the much-awaited Diwali day dawned, reaching the zenith of our excitement. As the clocks chimed the brahmamuhurtham time, at 4am, and the alarm shrieked, we jumped out of bed and ran down the stairs. It's indeed a special day since no other day and nothing else could get us out of bed that early. Amma put a dollop of oil on our head, and we quickly raced to see who could get into the bathroom to wash off the oil with the shikkai powder. Each of us occupied the 3 bathrooms in the house and Thayi moved from one to the other to get the oil bath going. It is a standard ritual and referred to as “Ganga snaanam”, equal to bathing in the Ganges. Then we decked ourselves in the finery set aside for the day and ran outside to start our day bursting the crackers and wishing our neighbours. By now, the celebrations were in full swing casting a radiant glow over the city. 

Meanwhile the house was bustling with activity. Amma, making a variety of food starting off with the traditional idli, vadai, sambar, chutney for breakfast. We waited for Pushpa and athimbere who usually came home early in the morning with Harish and Vinoo as they made their rounds visiting family to wish Happy Diwali. The bakshanams (sweets and savories) would make their way to the dining table for snacking all through the day. Athai and Athimbere with Ravi, Sundar would come by later after their temple rounds. Vichu, Balu, Ramani and Shankar would troop into the house at various times of the morning all in their new finery.

There was a tradition in Rama Rao road where we grew up. We could see the comradeship each Diwali when the neighbours all came together to celebrate this festival as one. Each house in the neighbourhood contributed Rs 20 and with almost Rs 400 would buy one huge electric pattaas which stretched all the way from Jikki and Cheeni’s house to the end of the Flats. Sometimes the honour of lighting that pattaas went to the person celebrating thalai deepavali, etc. A time would be fixed for that vedi to be lit and each and every one from every household came together to witness this. Once lit, this long stretch of pattaas would keep the bursts going for what seemed to last for a long time. At the end of it, everyone cheered with a burst of applause as the smoke filled the air and the feeling of  glee and happiness reverberated through the street. We then retired to our homes for a fine meal and connecting with family and friends.

These flashbacks on my days at Pushpanjali encourages me to create long lasting memories for the next generation. By telling why Diwali is celebrated and giving them a slice of the experience, I hope to achieve that dream.

While some believe Deepavali or Diwali commemorates the return of Lord Rama from his 14 year exile and is celebrated with pomp and glory, in the south, its believed that Krishna killed the demon Narakasura and the triumph of evil is celebrated on that day. Some also believe it is the celebration of the marriage of Lakshmi, the goddess of wealth with Lord Vishnu. And for me, I would like to start creating new memories for my children and grand children by making it a special occasion for them. 

Festivals of India - Pongal

A  fortnight after the New Year celebrations, the next festival we eagerly look forward to is Pongal. As a child growing up in Madras,  I always wondered what made this festival so exciting. Was it the school holidays, or eating karumbu (sugarcane) and other delicious Pongal items prepared at home or the 4 days celebrations of Bhogi, Pongal, Maatu Pongal and Kanu Pongal that made it all worthwhile. It was all of that and more. 

Marking the end of the tamil Marghazhi month, the new month of Thai maasam starts off with the Pongal celebrations throughout Tamil Nadu, coinciding with the festival of Sankranthi in other areas like Karnataka, Kerala and Andhra. There is so much optimism in the air, and the old adage holds true, Thai pirandhaal vazhi pirakkum, meaning, When the new month Thai starts, all opportunities open up. 

The 4 day Pongal festival starts with Bhogi and we assemble and light a bonfire to discard and burn the heaps of discards with so much excitement. The next day is Pongal, when the Pongal dish is prepared by boiling milk, sugar, rice and dhal and symbolically marked by the dish “boiling over” and joyously shouting out Pongalo Pongal. Maatu Pongal is celebrated the following day and cows are decorated with finery and brought from home to home which is such a beautiful sight. Kanu Pongal is celebrated on the 4th day by bringing the whole family together and praying for their well being and offering different flavours of rice to the crow. The 4 days are also celebrated as a ritual of thanksgiving for the harvest of the year. 

Silent words to Amma

Just once I want to rest my head on your lap,

And feel your fingers combing through my hair,

Whispering everything is going to be fine,

I wonder how you feel the pain I desperately try to hide.

Is it your gut feeling or sixth sense,

That picks up every smile or twitch in my eye,

Never did you praise me sky high,

Nor did you scorn as I left everything to chance.

I often wonder if you were proud of me or disappointed in me,

Till I had my own little girl whose faults never seemed so big to me,

My heart swelling with pride and not telling her she was the best,

I nudged her to do better without bearing down her throat.

Following your foot steps, I want to bring up my little girl.

Resting her head on my lap,

I comb my fingers through her hair,

Whispering everything is going to be fine.

I feel the pain she desperately tries to hide,

With the brush of my lips on her forehead,

I want to make the whole world a better place for her to be.

Sarsimma turns 90

You are in our thoughts again now, as you so often are ....... 
If we had another 10 years, we could have celebrated your 90^th birthday this year.   Happy Birthday Amma!

Remembering you is easy, we do it ever so often, Amma; but missing you is the heartache that never goes away. The mind knows that you are gone, but our hearts will never accept it and we miss u so much.  If only we had known that the last time we saw you, would be the last time we saw you, I wonder about everything that we’d have done - 

May be, hugged you a little tighter, told you I loved you a little louder and stayed by your side a little longer. But we strive to make you proud by being a good mother, compassionate, thoughtful, patient, optimistic, positive and cheerful. 

From your unconditional love, we learnt to be a good mother

From your unending generosity, we learnt to be compassionate
From your kind words and deeds, we learnt to be thoughtful

From your patience through adversity, we learnt to be optimistic and full of hope

From your positive attitude, we learnt to cherish and make every event an occasion

From your sweet smile, we learnt that your cheer will always shine brightly within us

Your life has taught us how to be, and we will always love you Amma

My Daughter, a Lovely Mother

My heart swelled with pride seeing my baby, Shveta, hold her babies close to her bosom and whisper tender, loving words. As a proud mother, I held her hands during both her deliveries encouraging her through her labour, and waiting anxiously till the cry of the new born reverberated through the room filling us all with joy. 

It was in September 2015, when Maya decided to come 3 weeks ahead of the due date. Around 10:30 pm, the baby started letting her mother know she was ready to come out to this beautiful, wonderful world, while Pavan and I calmly packed to leave for the hospital. As Shveta merrily chatted away with everyone during the car ride to the hospital, it almost seemed like she was going for a movie night rather than to the hospital. The whole night was filled with pleasant memories, with the chanting of the Gayatri Mantra playing in the background, and Shveta calmly followed the doctor's instructions. The whole labour and delivery was such a serene, happy and calming experience as the little bundle of joy, Maya, came into this world at 6:12 am the following morning and gave my daughter the wonderful status of Mother.

Fast forward, to March of 2018, Maya's brother Ashwin, decided to come 3 weeks ahead of the due date as well. Like his sister, around 10:30pm, the baby started letting his mother know he was now ready to come out to this beautiful, wonderful world. As we reached the hospital around 11pm, little did we know, that the similarities around their birth stopped right there. There was nothing serene or calm around Ashwin's arrival, more like a galloping horse, as his name suggests. Ashwin was born at 12:34 am, a mere hour and a half after reaching the hospital. The whole labour and delivery was a breeze, with the chanting of Gayatri Mantra playing in the background and rain drizzling outside blessing the arrival of the little bundle of joy, Ashwin.

I'm now a grandmother, and its so grand to be a mother of a mother
I see my grandkids as beautiful and perfect, both sister and brother
Memories of their birth comes flooding along
As I look at their mother, both loving and strong
Saama, the grandma, gives you kisses and cuddles
Lets you sleep on my shoulders even with your doodles
I could just watch you for hours on facetime
With a smile on my face and not caring about time
Every little word you utter I find so cute
I proudly relay it to the world as if on cue
I love you both so dearly and to the end of the earth
With you in my heart, that's nothing but the whole truth
  

Varanasi - Day 2 of 3

Day 2 – After a sumptuous breakfast at Ramada Hotel around 8am, we left for Allahabad. The 3 hour drive was a lot of fun, filled with laughter, music and antaakshari and we soon reached Allahabad. We were so excited to have a dip in the Triveni Sangam. The sacred Sangam is the confluence of three of the holiest rivers – Ganga, Yamuna and Saraswati.  The boatman rowed us towards the area where the 3 rivers meet.

 

The Triveni sangam is the point at which the brown Ganges meets the greenish Yamuna and Saraswati who comes from below.  As we stood there in the midst of the Sangam, it seemed like the daughters of Saraswathy rising at the confluence of the 2 great rivers Ganga and Yamuna. The feeling was so primal and yet over powering. With a sense of fulfillment, we returned back to Varanasi around 4pm.

 

 

We then walked around the narrow streets and saw small houses with looms spinning beautiful patterns of Benarasi silk saris and bought a couple of saris. We then went back for a second evening of Ganga aarthi listening to soulful rendering of bhajans and watching the reflection of  lights from the aarthi dancing on the still waters of the Ganges. It was almost like seeing it all for the very first time. 

We then went again to Kasi Vishwanatha temple and the highlight of the evening was when we dedicated ourselves to singing Shiva bhajans while being totally mesmerized with the clang of the bells, chanting of prayers and total devotion emanating from all around us. A whole hall full of people joined us in our bhajans and the hour passed like a minute where time stood still. We felt blessed to get this opportunity which took us to a different plane of  religious euphoria. We were asked to come the next day for aarthi and Sama Veda chanting at the temple as well.

Although we didn’t want to miss out on the hot milk in mutka and aloo tikki chaat on the roadside, we got a quick bite and returned back to Ramada for a full fledged dinner and turned in for the night.

Varanasi - Day 1 of 3

A rose is a rose is a rose and the rose by any other name would still smell as sweet.  Varanasi, Benaras, Kasi – whatever you call this sacred city, is engulfed with divinity and the feeling as soon as you land there is celestial. The 7 of us have been looking forward to this trip for a long time and the time had come for us to set off on this religious sojourn.

 

Day 1 - We landed in Varanasi at 10am and were greeted by Nihar, our guide at the airport. We got on the 11 passenger van reserved for us for the next 3 days and set off on our journey. We started off by driving up to Sarnath, giving a Buddhist perspective to the holiness of the area. We saw the Moolagandha Mandir, the Dhameka Stupa where Buddha delivered his first sermon after he attained enlightenment, archeological sites, big Buddha sculptures in various temples and museum with a sculpture of the Ashoka pillar that was chiseled out of a single block of sandstone.

 

We drove back to Varanasi and before checking in to Ramada around 4 pm, had lunch at Royal family restaurant. The evening was a melting pot of all things spiritual, mysticism, and divinity as we gravitated towards the Jyotirlinga of Shiva enshrined in the Kashi Vishwanatha temple. We used different modes of transportation to get there. First by van from Hotel Ramada and half way through the heavily crowded streets in a cycle rickshaw which brought back childhood memories of going to school in a rickshaw and finally walked through the narrow winding streets. As we walked through the streets, I was sure we were going to get lost and silently followed our guide trusting his instincts. Finally we reached the Kashi Vishwanatha temple and the feeling of exhilaration reached the peaks of devotion and the glimpse of the Jyotirlinga amidst the mass of individuals funneled into an oneness with God. From there, we went to Kasi Visalakshi and Annaporneswari temples.

What we witnessed next was one of the most memorable moments of life – the vibrant and admirably choreographed Ganga Aarthi ceremony. It was energizing to see thousands of people assembled at Dashashwamedh Ghat to view the spectacle of evening aarthi in Varanasi. Seven young priests in traditional Indian attire moving to the tune of melodious aarthi and bhajan, holding huge deepams was a sight to behold. The soul stirring bhajans reverberated through the area and the whole atmosphere was magical with the aarthi deepam creating a bright hue against the darkened sky. As the aarthi came to an end and the young man singing the bhajans with such fervor started to unwind, we had the opportunity to continue the momentum by singing Bho Shambo in unison. Deriving such a feeling of satisfaction, we then scrambled to float lamps in leaf boats in the Ganges. It was amusing to see other people around taking pictures of us as we tried to take selfies.

As we were returning back to the hotel, we didn’t want to miss out on any local specialties and had aloo tikki chat for dinner and finished off with hot milk with cream floating on top in matkas or clay pots which added to the subtle flavor.